A memory you can't erase

"He had supposed for years that he had no secrets from himself. Here was proof that he had a great big secret somewhere inside, and he could not imagine what it was."(173) It was time at last for Billy to reveal he had a problem. Since the beginning of the book we can see that Billy is strongly affected by war but for the first time we see that deep inside him he is sad and he has a huge secret that he has not even revealed to himself. Billy cant talk to anyone not even his wife or his daughter because he knows that they won't believe him or think he is crazy. Billy's problems are far from the understanding of an earthling. I think he can sought peace by talking to a Tralfamadorian rather than a human because at least they can understand without him having to explain so much but by looking at his whole life at once. Billy's problem is so complicated that maybe his subconscious has hidden it inside himself so that he is not worried or preoccupied with it. His life has been so tough so many close people to him have died and he knew when they were gig to die but he couldn't do anything. Billy maybe thinks he has so much pressure and thinks that nobody has the power to help him has stored all his problems inside him and he couldn't do this more, he collapsed. This is the first time when I see Billy sad and worried it seems as if he doesn't know what will happen next or what he feels. Billy Pilgrim is not a machine.